LGBTQ+ Safety Tips: Real-World Self Defence for Mind, Body and Identity
You shouldn’t have to fear for your safety just for being yourself.
But the reality is, people in the LGBTQ+ community face higher levels of public harassment, intimate partner abuse, emotional manipulation, and violence. And often, they’re left out of traditional self defence spaces altogether.
This article is your guide to personal safety and self defence for the LGBTQ+ community - covering physical, emotional, and situational safety.
It’s about reclaiming your power, knowing your worth, and learning practical ways to protect yourself in everyday life.
Whether you’re gay, lesbian, bi, trans, nonbinary, queer, or questioning — your safety matters, and your experiences are valid.
Why LGBTQ+ People Need a Different Kind of Self Defence
When most people hear 'self defence,' they picture martial arts - kicks, punches, or fighting off an attacker. But martial arts and self defence are not the same.
Martial arts can be powerful and disciplined, but they often take years to master, rely on physical strength, and are meant for controlled, sporting environments.
They're not designed for the complex, real-world situations LGBTQ+ people face every day. They aren’t easy to remember and simple. They aren’t suitable for people of any ability and strength.
Real self defence is about awareness, boundary-setting, de-escalation, and knowing when and how to act — physically or emotionally — to stay safe.
Here’s what real threats can look like for LGBTQ+ people:
Homophobia and transphobia — on the street, in your home, or from your own community
Emotional abuse — especially from partners who weaponise identity, shame or guilt
Street harassment — triggered by how you walk, dress, or express your gender
Coercion — in relationships that claim to be loving but chip away at your power
Online grooming and shaming — especially in queer digital spaces.
Martial arts can’t teach you how to navigate being misgendered by a colleague, outed in a threatening environment, or emotionally manipulated by someone who says they love you. But real self defence can.
Self defence isn’t just about physical moves - it’s about taking back your power, strengthening your mindset, and being aware.
⚠️ Self defence can be a heavy topic
If this article brings up tough feelings, please pause and take care of yourself. Shake out your arms, take a deep breath (or two quick inhales and one long exhale), and remind yourself: You are worth protecting. You deserve to be safe.
Four Self-Defence Truths Every LGBTQ+ Person Should Know
1. You Are Worth Protecting
Abuse can chip away at your sense of self-worth. Especially when it comes from someone you trusted, or when society already tells you you’re "too much" or "not enough."
But hear this: you are not the problem.
Your identity is not a weakness.
It’s not something to hide or apologise for. And you deserve to feel safe—not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually too.
2. Safety Is About More Than Fists
Fighting back is only one part of self defence. Real safety starts way earlier with awareness, gut instinct, boundaries, and emotional resilience.
It’s:
Noticing when something feels off
Knowing your right to walk away
Saying no without apology
Trusting your body’s signals
Leaving a partner who drains your confidence or dulls your joy.
Self defence is what happens before the punch - not just during.
3. Boundaries Are a Superpower
You don’t need to explain or justify your limits. Whether it’s physical touch, the emotional effort of managing other people’s reactions to your identity, or the pressure to educate others about being LGBTQ+ - you’re allowed to say:
"That’s not up for discussion."
"I’m not comfortable with that."
"This isn’t a safe space for me."
Boundary-setting isn’t rude. It’s revolutionary.
4. Self Defence Means Community
Safety doesn’t always mean going it alone. Part of self defence is:
Finding your people
Knowing where to get help
Referring others to support services
Sharing stories to empower each other.
We rise by lifting each other.
How to Protect Yourself: Practical Tools for LGBTQ+ Safety
On the Street:
Trust your instincts. If a space doesn’t feel safe, it probably isn’t.
Take up space. Confident body language is powerful.
Use your voice if it feels safe to do so. Calling out harassment isn’t overreacting—it's asserting your right to exist.
Carry a safety tool. A personal alarm can startle an aggressor and draw attention.
Turn bystanders into allies. If you can, ask someone nearby to help or make eye contact and say, “Can you stay with me?”
In Relationships:
Red flags are real. Is your partner isolating you from friends? Controlling your time? Making you feel like you’re the problem?
Emotional abuse counts. Love isn’t supposed to erode your confidence.
You don’t have to stay. There is support—whether it’s a friend, therapist, or specialist LGBTQ+ service.
Inconspicuous safety matters. If you depend on someone who’s harming you, plan quiet ways to disengage or call for help without confrontation.
At Work or School:
Document incidents. If you’re being targeted, write it down.
Report where possible. Equality and inclusion policies exist for a reason.
Seek allies. One supportive colleague or tutor can make a world of difference.
In Digital Spaces:
Be cautious with what you share on dating apps or in queer forums. Outing, shaming, blackmail and digital harassment are real risks.
Use platforms that allow privacy controls. Use block/report features.
Follow safe online dating practices. Check out our blog on online dating.
Strategic SELF Defence
Self defence doesn’t always look like shouting or fighting back.
For many LGBTQ+ people, survival means being smart, strategic, and quiet when necessary.
It's about knowing how to take control of a situation without escalating it - and having the clarity to act when the moment is right.
These tactics are not about passivity. They’re about power, precision, and protecting your peace.
Remember:
Control the frame. Shift from “Why is this happening to me?” to “What’s the smartest way to protect myself right now?”
Protect your energy. You don’t owe anyone an explanation or a reaction. Walk away when it serves your safety.
Choose your moment. Sometimes the safest thing you can do is wait, stay calm, and act when the risk is lowest.
Manipulative fawning. If confronting isn’t safe, use non-verbal cues or a soft tone to buy time, find your exit or to get them to drop their guard before you strike.
Distraction and bluffing. Claiming to have someone waiting nearby or pretending to make a call can shift dynamics.
Use your whole body and voice as a weapon. If you have to go physical, summon the savage survivor that is hidden within all of us. Your stance, tone, posture, and presence can all work in your favour—stand tall, speak clearly, and take up space.
Who do you want to get home to? Whether it’s a loved one, friend, pet, sibling, or future self - keep that person in mind as your reason to act.
You are stronger than you think. In a moment of danger, your body knows how to survive. Trust it. You have more power than fear will let you believe.
Final Thoughts: You Deserve to Feel Safe
No matter how you identify or where you are in your journey, your safety matters. Your story matters.
You are not alone.
You are not the problem.
You are powerful.
Want to dive deeper?
Listen to our Pride Month podcast episode: LGBTQ+ Self Defence—4 Empowering Truths
Check out our LGBTQ+ Self Defence training for organisations and community groups
Take our online self defence course, Self Defence Essentials - learn self defence in 1 hour for just £24.
And if you’re not sure where to begin, start here: you are worth protecting.
Streetwise Defence is CPD-accredited, LGBTQ+ inclusive, and trauma-informed. We believe everyone deserves the tools to feel safe in their body, mind, and identity.